A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey… but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong. So every day I get STRONGER!

Chasing away the meanies

If I didn’t tell you, would you know? If you knew, would you care? It’s okay, I’m used to it and for the most part I think I’m over it. Truth be told though I’ve dealt with the meanies more often than I care to count. You don’t know who they are you say: LUCKY YOU! Chances is are though you’ve met them on some occasion in your lifetime. They stuck around tough with me for years though. Gave me headaches out of this world and made me question time AND time again if anyone would miss me if I was gone. My daughter doesn’t know it, but she’s the reason I’m still here.  Couldn’t bear to leave her. But those meanies, those meanies tried to make me believe I didn’t matter day after day after day. It’s amazing. Sometimes we come through some stuff and once we reach the other side that hind sight we gain….MANN that is some amazing SHHH! That hindsight let’s you see some stuff you didn’t see before and you’re like MANN  I didn’t even know that was there!

I think it was a wet cold day last November when they tried to sneak their way back in my head. They pounded and pounded against my skull trying to invade my happy world & and I cried. I cried like many times before, this time though I had new armor. I had found myself & learned to love & accept myself and I had someone who I wasn’t afraid to talk to, someone who wouldn’t say to me “Pressure burst pipes” (that shit never helped). And I knew that I was strong &  beautiful and the meanies couldn’t control my mind or my thoughts or my feelings if I DIDN’T LET THEM! I let them settle in long enough to get there spill off and I countered them. I refuted everything they had to say and then released them from me. It was that day that I realized how powerful they were. I had been minding my own personal business and they just came out of nowhere trying to divert and control me. It was also that day that I realized just how powerful I was. I could see that they were there, take in everything they had to dish out then I could dismiss them just as quick as they came without a lingering thought of anything they had tried to make me believe. Hell they’re so much weaker now they barely have the strength to try. I’ve found my joy and I don’t intend to let it go. Meanies can’t live here anymore because I always CHASE THEM AWAY!

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