I know I should be sleep but I was given a sign today and I had to fully acknowledge that I had seen it and would take it to heart. Pulled out the workings of my book and it has been so many days; ok months since I looked at it or worked on it that the words just blew me away. I was reminded again why it’s been so hard for me to finish. In a word it’s pure procrastination but on another level it STONE COLD FEAR! Over the years as I’ve watched my eldest daughter grow up I have learned that she can be brutally honest. As I read over some of the pages of my book I realized where she got that trait from. This book is hard to write, but I can’t let it go. It always comes back boomeranging around me in one big circle to the point where I can’t go any other way. This is not just something I want to do, this is something I’m being CALLED TO DO. I can’t shake it.
Nope, nope, nope, I know what you’re thinking, but no this is not my only calling but it’s one that I must fulfill to keep my energy flowing in the right direction. I keep trying to go right and it’s constantly steering me to go left. I think it’s time I REALLY LISTENED.
Had a nice conversation with my aunt on the subject and it is just Divine how God uses people to send His message. One thing that was stated that really grabbed my soul, ” Me not fulfilling my calling could be hindering someone else from fulfilling theirs.” The universe is waiting and I’m just dragging my feet like I’m the only one affected. We’re all connected and we owe it to each other to stop jaw japping and tip toeing around the things we know we need to do. Somebody needs us to be great so that they might find their greatness too. Baby steps are okay, just GET MOVIN!
This is a poem for my soul always searching yet I’ve denied a thousand times.
Whose gentle prodding stood strong in my suppression,
heartfelt whispers and poetic musings
flung incessantly at my mind.
Alive with fiery vision; it’s birth halted by my inability to be free.
Though I have learned and relearned this gift FOREVER.
For when I need to listen you are there to guide me
yet because fear took hold and grabbed me you were pushed aside and rejected.
PERSISTENCE & DETERMINATION
Now I feel that no one can have a voice without first acknowledging his soul
and one must love & accept until it overtakes him.
I believe every soul can be passionate
So I write this for my voice, my words, my FREEDOM;
for my soul, Life Eternal,
day one going on forever…