The past few days have been good. Taking a four day rest from working out and I think this break is very well placed. Been reflecting on a lot and things are becoming much clearer.
Might have lost an old friend yesterday due to what I felt was complete self-absorption on their part. I felt so strong speaking my mind though. It seems some people see me as being needy or like what they have to offer is so important or necessary to me that I’ll put up with or accept anything. GET THE **** OUTTA HERE!!! Life is too short. I’ve already spent a nice portion of time wishing and waiting depending on other people to fulfill my need for happiness. NO MORE.
I take it all for what it’s worth. I see the silver lining standing out before me. I appreciate the energy given, the chance to feel that of another, the chance to glimpse at all that has, could and yet might never be. The chance to learn that which could only be taught through experience. That chance that stands before you only once. I see & accept it all. For it is a part of me in ways only I can understand.
I am that I am, truly a GEM! All that I go through just serves as ways to refine and polish. I WAS MEANT TO SHINE AND SO I WILL!
Thought about starting a new journal over the past few months and with so many things that are trying to steal my joy I felt now was the time and this will give me a way to stay focused on my journey.
The past few years I’ve regained 15-20lbs over the winter months pushing my weight into the 150’s every time. Well this year I stayed consistent with everything and I am happy to say that I have actually lost this time around!
My current story goes like this:
36yr old mother of two in the final stages of divorce from a marriage of 11yrs. Had planned a move to Dallas after my divorce was final but that plan fell apart so here I sit about to make a brave attempt at starting over.
Working out has always been “my time” my stress reliever, my solace, and so I plan to use this journal to keep me grounded. I’m ready and poised for the great new things that will come into my life as I enter this new chapter.
1)Get a job(been a stay at home mom for 8yrs)
2)Go back to school(studying Deaf Education)
3)Get my own place(that I control)
4)Have my best year ever
5)Get my best body ever
6) Never lose myself in a relationship again, NEVER!
The longer I put off things the more anxiety about what could happen builds up and it makes me not want to follow through. But when I go ahead and take the plunge, I realize that it was not as bad as I thought it would be.
I felt like I’ve been on the cusp many times before, but instead of going for it, I shrink back afraid of my greatness. Never again, there’s no time like the present to give life my all.
I do Kundalini yoga which I love! Lots of movement and mantras. I always feel transformed after doing it even when I don’t get a meditation in.
Been kicking butt on some killer hills and I can tell the difference in my glute/leg strength.